A social media meme popped into my newsfeed a few days ago that said “love like you’ve never been hurt.”
I felt that one.
A simple statement you could read many times, and yet because of the unique chemistry of circumstance and synchronicity in my life and intimate relationships, that statement plucked a string in the heart chord of my emotional anatomy, and I paused.
I absorbed the energy of the words into my body as a felt-sense inquiry into the places I’ve been practicing love in my life and relationships from a place of self-defense, or an avoidance of being hurt.
All those little places where I resist or hold off on speaking those little (or not so little) truths, desires, and appreciations, because I fear that if I speak them…
…I’ll be judged for how much I feel or care, and/or feel embarrassed because my level of intensity or desire doesn’t match that of the other person…
…I’ll be rejected, ghosted, or shut down in the expression of my truth/desire/appreciation, and then go into a shame spiral of self-judgment for both the existence of my desire, and the stupidity of my choice to express it…
…I’ll realize that I was totally misperceiving the situation and realize that I can absolutely NOT trust my intuitive impulses and it’s just better to hide in a hole of isolation, disconnection, self-censorship, and constant second-guessing myself because then at least I don’t run the risk of being rejected…
Whoa. Yeah. There it is.
The fear of being rejected.
That Collective wound that impacts so many of us on such a deep, tender, young level of awareness, that often we build up walls and coping strategies to connection over such a gradual and sustained period of time we don’t even see them for what they are.
And it hit me.
There are still those little (and not so little) places where I hold myself and my love back in relationships because I’m afraid of not being received in my love.
I am still realizing the places where I fear I am too much and as a result not fully embodying the truth of my desire because I might scare people away if I really let them feel me. All of me.
Talk about global pandemic.
The fear of being too much, the fear of being rejected in our truth and our desire is a global pandemic. And I swear to god this is the revolution of love that the world is calling for.
The world is not going to be saved by one sweeping act of miraculous transformation.
It’s not going to be saved by one person making a grand decision to suddenly grant all human beings equality of resources and opportunity because freedom is our birthright and love is our religion.
It’s going to be all these little moments.
All these little moments where we make a conscious choice to take down our emotional and energetic guards, and let a person feel the vulnerability of our hearts and desire; risking our own perceived safety (self-protection) in order to create a bridge of connection that couldn’t occur unless we were willing to go out on a limb to create it.
It is so soft, and sweet, and vulnerable. And yet I realize and feel it as a form of courage that is so deeply needed in this world right now.
I want it. I choose it. I am it.
I choose to feel more connected. To embrace more intimacy, more connection, more truth, more love in all its forms in my life.
And I am softening into the subtle ways I realize how I’ve cultivated a technique of hiding behind composure and self-restraint as a way to protect myself from feeling too much before I’m “clear” another person feels the same way.
Oh wow. I see now. Thank you Arielle. Thank you for protecting your tender loving heart in this way up until this point. I can so see how you’ve been caring for yourself in the best way you know how up until this point.
I love you. I have compassion for you. I see how strong and brave you have been up until this point in order to get by in a world that is so starved and upside down around authentic loving human connection.
You are a different human now.
You have grown and evolved to learn how to take care of yourself and your heart, and resource infinite love from within in such a way that you know love could *never* be taken away from you.
Love can never disappear.
It is safe to open your heart.
It is safe to be transparent with your truths, your love, your desires.
Your full embodied expression is a gift for the world to receive.
And I soften.
I soften as I write this as a real-time love letter to myself that I allow for all of you to see.
I soften into loving like I’ve never been hurt.
Choosing to love like I want to be loved.
Holding my own heart with devotion and integrity, giving freely of my love because my heart is cosmic and infinite in nature.
And suddenly I feel free.
Free to express myself and the truth of my heart, because I am embodied in my worth and know my value is not based upon my desire’s outcome.
I let go.
I soften my hands and the grip of control that has been a placeholder for the deeper safety I’ve been longing to feel within myself that can only occur when I settle into the truthful commitment that I will never leave me or let me go.
I am always here.
I am here, simmering in love with me, curious what grace and beauty will continue to enter into my life as I love (and live) like I’ve never been hurt.
Simple moments of love and truth.
May we all remember who we truly are.
Arielle Brown is a Spiritual Mentor and Sexual Embodiment Facilitator. She specializes in supporting people to align their lives with their deepest desires, by tapping into their innate sovereignty and embodying a healthy/aligned relationship with their erotic energy. Arielle has cultivated a body of work addressing the increasing need for evolutionary approaches to sexuality, spirituality, and leadership that facilitate power-WITH (vs. power-OVER) models of relating. She teaches courses and facilitates transformational containers for those seeking to embody new levels of truth, power, and freedom in their lives and relationships. www.ariellebrown.com
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