It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you find yourself struggling with receiving in your life — in the forms of receiving love, pleasure, or money, for example — it often means you need to instill stronger boundaries in your life.
Ironic, right? So many of us fear that in setting boundaries, we risk pushing away what we want and making it MORE difficult to receive our desires.
However, it is actually through the cultivation of clear boundaries that we are able to cultivate discernment within our emotional-energetic system, and as a result create more self-trust.
Self-trust is ESSENTIAL when it comes to receiving. If we don’t inherently trust ourselves to be clear on what we are a YES or NO to, what winds up happening is our unconscious and subconscious self cultivate energetic boundaries and belief systems that repel the things we desire.
Think about it — if a person has experienced sexual trauma in the past, or had experienced the feeling of sacrificing their soul for the all-mighty dollar, for example, there can become a deeply ingrained fear “that if ‘x’ then ‘y’ in all circumstances.
If I open up to receiving sexual pleasure I might be violated…
If I receive large sums of money I might experience a deep emptiness and dissatisfaction…
If we haven’t yet done the work to cultivate clear boundaries within ourselves (which I define as creating alignment between our inner truths and outer experience) our unconscious/subconscious self can wind up creating a “no-access shield” to ANYTHING associated with previous trauma or suffering.
Cultivating boundaries allows us to discern on a moment to moment basis what “feels good” to us and what does not. Cultivating boundaries also goes hand in hand with learning how to remain in our bodies during high-sensation interactions, so that we can clearly speak our truths in the present moment.
This is a big part of the private coaching work I do with people, and a big part of the work we explore in The Appetite Course in a group container.
Once we cultivate boundaries, our Inner Self is able to relax the “no access shield” and become more permeable to receiving pleasure, love, money in aligned forms. We are then able to act and choose on a case by case basis what we allow ourselves to receive, as opposed to unconsciously repelling everything associated with previous pain or suffering.
This is how we create alignment in our beings. The is how we become magnets for the relationships, pleasure, experiences and prosperity that is most aligned with our truths and desires.
It is powerful work, and it inevitably transforms every area of our life.
About the Author:
Arielle Brown is a coach and facilitator with a focus on embodied intelligence and transparent communication skills. She offers comprehensive experiential learning through immersive private coaching, online courses, and workshops/retreats focused on intimacy and emergent leadership. Her work with individuals, couples, and organizations helps to disrupt the patterns and belief systems that block the actualization of greater visions and desires. You can learn more about her work at www.ariellebrown.com.