I am a powerful woman, and I am drawn towards submission.
I am drawn towards giving up the illusion of control that I grasp at in most areas of my life, by surrendering in the context of my sexual expression — because what is our sexuality other than our Essential Self?
In a world where we fight against invisible obstacles — taking shape as fears, insecurities, shame, judgment and guilt — it is a pleasure and a gift to fight against something tangible, something I can physically resist — like hands, buckles, or restraints.
I desire to surrender in my sex, so that I can take the energy of this sweet letting go into every area of my life.
How much suffering do we experience because we are afraid? Afraid of being found out. That we aren’t perfect. That we aren’t bullet proof. That we don’t have it all figured out.
I am a woman who desires surrender, in a safe container that I can trust. But in a world where nothing is controllable, and everything changes, what does “safety” actually mean?
“Safe” means a clear connection to my desires and my boundaries. “Safe” means a trust in my voice, my intuition, and my ability to advocate for my body, my being, my soul.
It beckons me to go beyond the avoidance of pain, which drives so many of us to stay in comfortable boxes of relationships that leave us unfulfilled, unmet, and unseen for the utter brilliance and beautiful insanity of who we are.
The illusion of being in control, stems from our desire to avoid being hurt, avoid being abandoned, avoid being misunderstood, avoid losing love.
And I’m hear to say that this control doesn’t exist. Through personal and professional experience, supporting hundreds of people through this uncomfortable realization.
“Control” is nothing but a bandaid for a deep wound in our soul that can only be healed through unadulterated connection. Through embodied intimacy and willing vulnerability that allows us to seen in the radical imperfection of who we are, knowing that we are beautiful, lovable, and fucking sexy as hell in that place.
So I choose to submit. I choose to surrender to the knowing that nothing is controllable, and that the only true safety is in connection with another that is free from hiding who I am, what I want, and what I believe.
Freedom exists through connection to others, not through avoidance of it. And if we are willing, to become deeply honest about who we are and what we want, especially in our sexual relationship and those of the most intimate connection, we may just discover the joy, the freedom, the power, and the peace that we’ve been searching for.
I choose surrender. I choose connection. Over and over again.