Dear Aggressive Masculine, I want you to understand…

Dear Aggressive Masculine,

Just because you want my attention doesn’t mean I owe it to you. I understand you have a powerful agenda and a belief that you have information and insights that I “need” to know. And believe me, I am open to that possibility being true.

However, if you try and force your ideas into me without my permission or consent, I feel violated similarly to how I might feel if you pressed your tongue into my mouth without tuning in with me first.

It’s not that I don’t want to receive you or what you have to offer, but if you try and force-feed me a gift without checking in on whether or not I’m a YES to what you have to offer, how could I ever trust you enough to relax around you, let alone surrender.

You spend so much time angry at women for how they don’t receive you, but have you ever considered whether or not you are presenting yourself as a safe vessel to receive from?

Are you actually attuning to the woman you want to connect with? Feeling into her energy and body language to discern whether or not she is open to your advances?

Or are you so attached to your own agenda and insecurities of being rejected that you forgot to drop into your body and feel what’s going on for the person across from you?

We are at a level in our collective human evolution where consent isn’t just a verbal game — its an energetic game. And if you want to connect with you powerful, sensitive, intuitive woman, you are going to need to realize that “first contact” occurs long before any words are spoken, or even before eye contact is made.

Dear aggressive masculine, I know you are hurting, and that you might not even identify as aggressive. Perhaps you feel you are a “nice guy” who is constantly misunderstood and short-changed by women. And that might be so, I cannot speak to the validity of that.

However, if you are using these past hurts and hidden resentments as a way to push your agenda onto a woman who hasn’t overtly expressed her desire to receive you, perhaps it’s time to realize that you may not be so nice as you think, and that your shadow may be creating the very situations that your point the finger at women for.

And here is the thing, dear men, by now, if you’ve been following my writings on Facebook, you know I am not a man-basher.

In fact, quite the opposite, I have been your advocate and taken on the scorn of women who disagree with my allegiance to you receiving a fair share of compassion.

But these truths need to be spoken, and received by YOU, men. There is no one scape goat here, no one gender or group to blame. This wound is for all of us to take ownership of and heal. I love you, and I want you to know that with my power, I am also tender and vulnerable.

I don’t want to walk around on guard, rigid in my boundaries and skeptical of your motives. I want to trust you, as I am already doing the work of learning how to trust myself.

These words are not meant to shame or push you away, but instead offer an inside look into the heart of many women who just want to feel safe to love you and receive you.

Thank you for receiving me. I love you.

About the Author:

Arielle is an Intimacy Coach & Workshop Facilitator, with a passion for supporting visionaries and change-makers in crafting containers for their relationships that can grow evolve as they do. Her coaching and community workshops focus on creating empowered and heart-centered approaches to verbal and energetic communication that prioritize transparency of desires, boundaries, and edges for spiritual growth. Learn more about her work at

Spiritual Mentor & Sexual Embodiment Facilitator |